Hungry Hungry Losties

I have a thing for really juvenile food. Like grilled cheese sandwiches, peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, korean rice porridge (죽), omurice, and macaroni and cheese.  Mmmmm. They make me revert to a more child-like state and give me a sense of calm. I especially love eating these kinds of foods when I'm feeling a little under the weather. Except I pretend someone else made them for me ( it makes it funner). hahahaha.
Obviously, my mom didn't make me mac n' cheese or sandwiches (strictly Korean food at our dinner table), but I read so much as a kid that I think I've absorbed some of those fictional white kids' experiences into my own memories and created some sort of emotional bond with them. hehe, such bullshit, right? 
I just got on this train of thought because I'm feeling a little blegh (visit from my monthly friend) and had this intense urge to eat OMURICE. mmmmmm. just the thought of it made me giddy and excited, so I made sure I had some eggs and started thawing some chicken~. ^-^
Hey, I had curry rice yesterday (which was amazingggg because of the addition of galbi- hahahhaa). This week is turning out to be Japanified western foods Korean-style week! I love it. :)

Oh, and I'm so glad there's no new episode of Lost this week. I have way too much shit to do and a new episode takes out at least 3 hours of my day (the show itself + time spent reading/writing about it). 
Also, I want to extend its presence in my life for as long as possibleeeee! There are only 4 episodes left, people! FOUR EPISODES! T-T . In one month, I will be without my constant. my brain will scramble and my nose will bleed. hehe. scrambled brains. scrambled eggs. egg omelette. omurice! dinner time! gotta go.

oh helloooo

Yesterday night, we smoked on our balcony (2 on the hammock, 3 on the sofa) and it was sooo relaxing! The moon was gorgeous against the night sky. I felt like someone was holding a flashlight down on us - it was so bright! :). We freaked out a little about airplanes (well, mj thought it was so cool people could now be in the sky whereas eri and I thought it was unnatural and creepy.. hahaa). Afterward, we ate so damn much. Turkey sandwiches, hot cheetos, lays chips, oreos... It was terrible. Then we watched some TV and it was sooo weird! Not even because we were high, but the shows were just stranger than usual. I swear! For example, in Iron Chef, the secret ingredient was beer, and the guest chef was this really creepy man from Austria who used Pop Rocks (the candy) and popcorn in his dishes!! We were so confused... And he won! Then we saw Family Guy, which was actually really fun to watch (because of the colors, we concurred) besides the parts that horrified us. like... Stewie trying to seduce Brian's teenage son with his naked baby ass and Peter squeezing out play-doh hair after he got a mohawk? IT WAS SO WEIRD AND UNCALLED FOR. Anyway, we went to bed in pain because of all the food we ate. And woke up still kinda high. O_O.
I feel like I need to have a dietary cleanse. eugh.

Dreams

I just woke up from a long and vivid nightmare.

First, I was at a shooting range with a  friend, when 2 of my other friends showed up and one of the guys just SHOT my friend in the arm! I asked him why he did that and he answered he was just making sure the arm pads worked (or something like that)?? Then I swore to him I'd make sure he could never pee right again. hahahahaa. I think I was half joking/half serious.... It was weird. I don't know if he ACTUALLY hurt her, but he definitely did not care about her well-being. He was concerned with the arm pads! haha. Then the shooting range became a bowling alley, but the lanes were made of water and we were aiming our bowling balls at a woman swimming in it. I was trying to knock her out before the guy who shot my friend could do it. Because victory would be revenge. (????!)

In the next dream sequence I remember, the friend who got shot and I were on a plane, and the doors and everything had just been shut, when we remembered something dire we had to do on ground. So before the plane left, we hurried to the now-closed exit and tried to open the door. Of course, the moment the door opened, the plane sped up super quickly, and the force squished me up against the wall. My friend followed suit, and landed against me, knocking the wind out of me. Then, people started flinging out of the plane one by one. Strangely, their forms were really graceful. except when I tried stopping one guy from flying out by putting my legs over the door. He tripped on them and scraped on the ground lengthwise.

Okay, if I imagine the scene right now, it is quite comical, because I recall there were no cries of pain/ bloodshed. There was even one businessman who smoothly left the plane moving with the force (like he was walking on air), and transitioned effortlessly into a brisk walk. He never looked back and acted as though he had landed at his destination and was proceeding with his plans.

When the pilot finally managed to stop the plane, my accomplice and I (I don't even remember who it was) walked out to avoid any awkward discussions with the pilot/crew but of course we were met with officers brandishing a gun at us. So we got arrested and handcuffed.

There was a huge mob waiting for us because of our responsibility in innocent people's deaths. I remember thinking "Dang, how did they even have time to make those posters and get here??" Hahhahaa. Of course, in dream reality, everything goes. The cops we were with were really chill and the handcuffs were super loose. We then transitioned from walking in the airport to some fancy building on the 7th floor, where a group of ANGRY people started blocking our way and threateningly came closer and closer. My friend found an elevator that only had buttons for the 7th, 5th and 1st floor. We rushed in and the door closed before the crowd could reach us, and on the whole ride down, I remember hearing the terrible pounding on the elevator doors. The elevator was really large and beautiful, though.

When the doors finally opened on the 1st floor, we were in a big, fancy, black church. as in African-American church. There was a service going on, and the cop who was supervising us told us he'd find a way out for us if we'd just wait a little. I became really nervous because of my handcuffs, and kept trying to hide them so people wouldn't freak out. My friend and I split up trying to find some sort of space to hide out in. I don't even know if I was trying to run from the law or run from the mob. I just remember that I was terribly paranoid and embarrassed.

Thennnnnn, this one little cartoon man came after me! He was like some racist depiction of black people and about a foot tall. But he was strong and quick! No matter where I hid, he'd find me and threaten to reveal me to the whole church. I tried to step on him because he was so small and also 2D (lol), but he was too quick for me. He chased me into the service, where he threw a big glass jar at me, which then started bouncing on the heads of the people in the congregation, knocking people out. The jar landed in front of me and when I tried to throw it back at him, that's when everyone turned around and saw me throw the glass jar and assumed I had thrown it t all the people. Feeling that something bad was going to happen, I managed to slip out and find an open window. I jumped from the 2nd floor ledge (yeah, from the outside we were actually on the 2nd floor?) to the 1st floor ledge and landed softly on the ground.

At that moment, I became a girl on the run. I thought about how I'd get my handcuffs removed, what I'd do with my cell phone, where I could escape to. I realized I'd have to live a new life and lose contact with everyone in my old life (if I wanted to be a good escapee).

Just as I was about to turn off my phone and symbolically say farewell to my old life, I woke up. and realized I had a paper to write. :).

Ohyeah, Happy 4/20! ^^ 

Errbody luhs Hugo! *spoiler alert, obvs

Seriously, the latest episode of Lost just... broke me. I understand it's the final episodes, but Christ, there's only so much my poor little brain can organize, reshuffle, contextualize and comprehend in one sitting! It's like... every little thing is connected to so many other things, so it's important to digest it all to try and follow the direction of the show.

The last 5 minutes of the show, my brain shut down in protest, only to be rudely awakened by effing DESMOND RUNNING OVER Sideways LOCKE, leaving him bleeding and mumbling in shock + pain!!!! I . just. freaked out. GAHHHHHH.

So these are all good things, by the way. I am superbly pleased with the level of crazy. mmm yes.

I love this show. Everything's been proceeding well. Hehe. I loved Ilana's sudden death by dynamite. like, there goes another unexplained side story. CUZ AT THIS POINT, YOU DUNT NEEDZ IT (I'm channeling what I feel the writers were trying to get across).

And SERIOUSLY?! did Smokey Locke just throw Desmond down the well? and Desmond survived?! (according to previews for next episode and also, rule of dramatic television: if you didn't see them dying, they probably didn't) ughhh I was so scared the whole time they were out in the jungle alone. (Hahaha I like how I make it sound like the jungle's not a regular part of island life.) I kept waiting for Smokey Locke to stab him in the gut. eurgh.

I can't tell if I want Desmond to have run Locke over because Sideways Locke is actually Smokey and Desmond was trying to kill him (since it happened after Smokey threw him down a well on the island), or if Desmond ran Locke over because it's his way of helping him remember his alternate life via near-death experience (and also being taken to the hospital where Dr. Shepard works? who had previously offered him a free consultation?).
Desmond told Ben right beforehand that his (nonexistent) son's name was Charlie, which was/is his child's name in the island reality, so does that mean he has full awareness of both worlds now?
And if Sideways Locke is Smokey, then... ok I don't even want to go there. I hope Sideways Locke is Locke.
And if Desmond was trying to help Locke, couldn't he have done it in a nicer way?? I mean COME ON. the guy is handicapped and old!!
I'm so confused by the timeline, too. Is the sideways world their future? or a parallel reality? I've been leaning towards parallel reality because the characters' realities seem to be seeping in together, but that can also be due to resurfacing memories and whatnot.
Sigh... I just need Penny and Desmond, Sun and Jin +baby, and Juliet and Sawyer to get together at the end. I have a sneaking suspicion Jack's ex-wife and mother of his child may be Juliet, but GODDAMMIT she better end up with Sawyer and have that effing coffee date!! If the writers put Sawyer and Kate together, ... blood will spill. That is one thing I will never forgive.

Also, Jack was likable? O.O Haha... I like humble Jack. although he's still somehow so arrogant in his humility, if that's even possible.

I think Jack is really the ultimate candidate. The other candidates have their big love stories to hold on to, but Jack- they've slowly steered him away from messy love interests to his personal development. He's the one who has had the most personal baggage from season 1 - not in terms of worst absolute experiences, but in terms of how much he's held on to his past trauma and how big a crutch it's been for him.
I think season 5 is when he became the biggest douchebag of all time, but that high precipitated his transformation/maturation as well.

First, he became a man of faith. It took a suicide (/murder), but ... he changed. Then, he learned to accept responsibility for his wrongdoings without making excuses. He also came to terms with his enormous daddy-issues, which came hand-in-hand with accepting responsibility for his mistakes. The latest big change was his acceptance of outside leadership (dubious or not) without any critique or input. He's okay with making "mistakes" because it's finally penetrated his thick skull that his assessment of right and wrong are not necessarily what's best for everybody at hand. It took Juliet's death for that to happen, but... he changed. heh.
The thing is, even though Hurley took the initiative, in the end, he still sought Jack's approval. Even with all the tumultuous events that transpired through Jack's leadership, they still find comfort in his approval, because in the end, they trust him.

So Jack's the dude whose well-intentioned if naive heart lead to many a death and destruction yet is still the de facto if now behind-the-scenes leader of the group who's fighting for "good" (as opposed to "bad" which seems to thrive on absolute self-interest), and containing Smokey on the island?

I think I smell a Jacob!

"The island is a cork..." Geez, Hurley, how could you not even know that? So SIMPLE, duhh.

Rain rain come again

 Lesson learned in my politics reading that I can apply to real life? The moral goodness behind people's motives is pointless when the resultant actions are not so positive.
Of course, making life decisions based upon this theory would be extremely tiresome and probably detrimental to all social ties and relationships.
Blahh blah blah. :) basically, I would like to live my life as a cold hard bitch but I can't because I have this annoying thing called emotions that get in the way of everything. I try so hard yet I still fall so hard. so the whole "minimum costs, maximum benefits" way of living? easier said than done.
and now let's segue into...

my weekend.

I drank too much whiskey.
I convinced my new friend that I could tackle the (cement) stairs on my own.
I fell down said stairs (and maybe took this new friend down with me, oops).
Scraped up my legs. so much pain!
Cried and screamed bloody murder because Miriam tried to put Spongebob Band-aids on me (I apparently hate spongebob even more than I realized).
Threw up massively (to my credit, I've always managed to do so cleanly and accurately into the toilet bowl).
Called up an old, old friend at 5:30 in the morning. Terrible of me, but somehow this friend happened to be awake and willing to talk.
So we did. for about 2 hours... about a lot of things...
I cried a lot, laughed a lot. It was cathartic.
I went to bed at 7:30.
Woke up at 11 with a massive hangover. puffy eyes.
Went to get some carne en su jugo at Tagueria Santa Cruz. mmmmmmm.... bacon beef beans deliciousness with avocado slices...
But car ride, sunlight and food made me want to throw up again.
Came back home and curled up in bed for another few hours.
Woke up feeling lots better.
Cleaned the house up with Miriam.
Ordered pizza and hot wings!
Watched Kill Bill Vol.2.
Felt pretty good.
but then.
Questionable questions. hmm...color me conflicted.

"Happily Ever After"

OIDSJFLKSDJGOISUFOIDJFSLDKF DESMOND OIJSFDKJFSLDKFJD LOST LKDSJFLKSDJF SD WHHHHAT?? EEEEEEHHH      HEFLKJSDKGJSPDIFU(_E*R)(WEPRI(#R)()#(IREP(UGF)*HBLKCNV>KXC:FIJE)(FU_QFIQ_{+IE)IPGJSDLKGJ!!!!!!!!!!!!
whatthefffff I knew the Desmond episode would be good but HOLY SHIT my brain just exploded into so many gooey pieces right now. hummhummhumm. I don't even know what to say. as you can tell.
just got a load of questions.

1. Mrs. Widmore, what are youuuu???? Who are youuu?? (Also, what in the world of fugz is that poufy do?!)
2. eeeeh Desmond+ Penny= devastatingly adorable in any universe
3. it always comes down to love, eh, show?
4. CHOICES? "Not ready?" WHAT DOES THAT MEAN.
5. Somebody... please... help... mee... piece... this... together...

Korean Draaamas

I started watching 2 new Korean dramas- Cinderella's Sister and Personal Taste. Both are good in their own way and I'm excited to see how they turn out. Cinderella's Sister is more dramatic and angsty. Personal Taste is just good zippy fun with lots of laugh-out-loud moments. :). I was more excited about Cinderella's Sister than Personal Taste after seeing its first episode, but the second episode kinda disappointed me because it resorted to typical k-drama tropes for dramatic effect, the plot started getting sprawled out, and the characters seemed less fresh. I'm hoping future episodes will be more focused and intimate, and that it won't be afraid to go for more dark realism (which can also provide dark humor). Personal Taste isn't the most innovative drama in terms of general plot device, but it is different in raising a semi-platform for out-and-proud gay Koreans. It follows the whole set-up of 2 people who initially don't like each other being forced to live together and then breaking each others' shells. But in this show the girl believes the guy she's rented out a room in her house to is totally gay, and he only discovers this after he's moved in. To stay in the house (which he also has ulterior motives for), he has to maintain the farce. Of course everything will get super complicated, messy and fun when they start getting feelings for each other. It's also a lot more entertaining because of the cultural context. Even though he isn't really gay, the fact that other people believe he's gay makes for interesting commentary and awkward/funny moments. I'm glad that this issue is being addressed in mainstream korean entertainment even though it's in a light, fluffy way because it still helps in normalizing it.

I still need to see:

Clash of the Titans (seems like well-made dumb fun with bonus eye candy Sam Worthington- yummy)

How to Train Your Dragon (I want to see this with my friends back home...)

Upcoming movies I want to see:

Kick-Ass (the trailer makes me smile / laugh every time - esp Nic Cage!! surprise!)

The Losers (Jeffrey Dean Morgan? Smexy)

And this is totally random, but I was checking Rotten Tomatoes to see more upcoming movies and WTH The Good, The Bad, The Weird is getting a limited U.S. release on April 9!!! That's friggin awesome.

This movie release is further away, but it sounds super interesting:

Christopher Nolan's Inception (great description here )

ALSO, ALL OF WHEDON'S SHIT IS ON NETFLIX STREAMING! Buffy, Firefly, Angel, Dr. Horrible and Dollhouse!!
I have all of Buffy & Firefly on DVD already, and have seen Dr. Horrible a few times. Angel- I've always had an on/off relationship with... Dollhouse- I never tried it out because of mixed reviews but I heard it's gotten better so maybe I'll give it a shot! Anyway, I'm just excited that everyone with a Netflix account will have instant access to this fantabulous universe of Jossness. May it convert many more to the cult of Whedon. muahahahaha.

Lee Hyori- Swing MV

I saw this when it came out online late at night and couldn't go through the whole thing (I. Don't. Like. Clowns. especially alone at night). I was pleasantly surprised that she chose this style, though! I was afraid she'd go with the trend and release a electro dance pop number or something. This isn't her comeback single, though, so who knows what that will actually be like. I love the haunting tone of this song/mv (during the middle of the day, at least) and I love her for actually taking initiative with her creative direction. I respect her a lot for having reached the position she's in within such a stifling industry. She's been smart with her decisions and has become an established and influential member in the K-pop entertainment industry, and garnered enough power to choose how she wants to grow as an artist unlike many of the popular young acts out there whose creative inputs are on total clampdown by their labels. Therefore, she stands out from all the helpless little pop groups desperately trying to cling on to trends that have been beaten to the ground for the past few months. Let's hope she keeps it going this way. (*anticipating her album release...!)



P.S. the song reminded me of this song from The Good The Bad The Weird! I forgot how much I loved the soundtrack in this movie! I'm gonna go dl it righhhht now. :)

"The Package"

Reason I was most excited about Sun and Jin's episode? ...Keamy!!

yes. and although he was only in it in bits and pieces, he did not disappoint. sooo enjoyable.
I was just waiting for the moment he'd show up and cause a ruckus, and then he turns out to be this off-the-wall weirdo who spews cliches while threatening people? It WAS SO BIZARRE. and highly entertaining.

I am so sexually attracted to this man. ;P

Anyway, I thought I'd stopped caring about Jin and Sun but this episode changed my mind! The two of them are great actors and I love the twist they put on their relationship in the sideways universe. They're not married, but having a scandalous secret affair! Delicious.
and how awesomely bad was it that Jin was delivering the $25,000 to Keamy as payment for his own death?!! nice one, Mr. Paik....
(Also, Keamy may have survived the 2 gunshots from Sayid? *hoping*) 

I did love seeing island Sun finally reacting and releasing all her pent up emotions. However, I was a little frightened at her blindsided fervor for reuniting with Jin (and later on their daughter) without consideration for any other "greater plans." Frightened because I understood and sympathized with that desire, and recognized it as a trait common in so many Korean mothers (including my own). I really enjoy watching Sun's character because the actress has been so smart about the gradations in her portrayal. They got really lucky (or shall I say, I got really lucky? hehe) with this casting because Kim Yun-jin is fluent in both English and Korean and also well adapted to both cultures, which I think has been a great boon to her flawless transition between multiple universe, multiple timeline Suns (unlike Jin, whose Korean and accent in English still makes me cringe). 
But how sweet and sad was it when Jin saw pictures of his daughter for the first time? Awwww.... I really want them to be one big (er, small) happy family, but this episode gave me so many doubts!!
And DESMOND! GO BACK TO PENNY!!! and your son!! as soon as your sneaky father-in-law de-drugs you and lets you do so, that is...

Ugh... stop making me care so much about these fictional characters, you stupid show!
JUST KIDDING I LOVE YOU DON'T LEAVE ME.