Dr. Linus (LOST spoiler alert!)

Ben's episode was grrrrreat. all about regret, regression, redemption... Michael Emerson was fucking fantastic playing the broken down Linus. I love my Ben evil and manipulative, but this change in him was so sad and powerful. I loved his need to explain himself to Ilana- he just wanted to be understood! poor thing had no one to confide in, no one to trust, no one to love him and accept him. was it his fault? yes. and his acknowledgment of that coupled with his expression of hurt, frustration and anger at Jacob for having lead him in this direction was such a pitiful moment. He sacrificed so much in the name of Jacob- namely his own daughter- but it was his confession that his fear of loss of power was the primary driving force behind this horrifying sacrifice that totally captured his vulnerability and self-disgust.

It's hard distinguishing between Jacob's true wishes and Ben's own selfish interpretation of Jacob's orders, and Ben's own realization of this is what caused him to become such a frazzled mess. His anger towards Jacob was just as much anger towards himself, and the seed of doubt had been planted in his head, turning him more insecure and impulsive.
Which raises the question: Has Ben turned over a new leaf? and if so, is his redemption going to mean squat at the end? I hope so, for his sake. I luh this guy!
Also, I would Luuurve for sideways Ben to have been my history teacher! No offense to my actual European/U.S. history teacher, Mr. Toy, who was amazing and lovable in his own right (all his haters were insecure egomaniacs who couldn't handle criticism or lazy bums unappreciative of his passion for the subject. (I was a lazy bum appreciative of his passion for the subject))!

And then: CAN Jacob be trusted? At this point, I'm swayed to think so. His followers' derailed lives seem to be predicated on their own flaws and inability to let go of personal issues more so than on his influence and orders.
Also, his emphasis on sacrifice and devotion as opposed to smokey/MIB/fake locke's tempting self-serving schtick makes Jacob, in my eyes, the more venerable one.
Of course, it isn't wise to simply compare the two to determine their goodness.
I don't know Jacob's true motivation and the island's real purpose, so he might as well turn out to be the delirious jackass Smokey makes him out to be.

sighhhh, I feel as though another season would have been perfect. The end is coming all too soon!!!

Thank god for videos like these to help alleviate the pain:



my man!
what can I say? his ruthless killer persona really does it for me. ^^ (uh-oh you guys, please make sure I don't end up with an actual ruthless killer. you know, unless he's only a ruthless killer to other people and a sweet, tortured man to me. hahahahaaa just kidddingg...! geez.)