I'm hooooome! :)
My dad picked me up from the airport and wooowww TRAFFIC. I'd forgotten what that was like. hahahaa. shit. I landed right when rush hour started!!
We started talking about school, family, etc and we somehow got into the subject of boys. OH right, because he mentioned that my cousin sister just broke off her engagement with her bf/fiance because she didn't want to marry soon and he did (he's 33 and rich and ready to settle down whereas she's 24, one year into law school and wants to wait until graduation - WHOAH DEJA VU right there. fucking pricks... find someone your own age or have some mothereffing patience!! your sperm count aint goin down anytime soon!) and my dad happened to mention that my uncle (his brother) also didn't like that the boy couldn't speak Korean well (even though he's Korean). and I thought... FUCKKKKKKK. mannnn. I don't even know how to begin explaining my lack of desire to marry a Korean boy. like... I love them as friends and I think they're awesome and wish them all the best but ... no sexual attraction = big problem!!! and it's not like I don't think they're good looking. it's just that I view them more with sibling/cousin-like affection than anything. and I sense this familiarity with them almost instantly, so I view them as too ... easy to read and understand (either that or they're fucked up misogynistic, racist assholes with daddy issues). so they don't stand out or pique my interest. and maybe it's because Korean people are really into conformity and succeeding within that narrow realm of what they view as success, but I don't jive with that whole ideal and therefore don't really mesh well with most Korean boys on a romantic level. like... I'm okay being friends with someone who believes in those ideas, but not okay being in a serious/long term/permanent relationship with them.
So anyway, since I couldn't really tell my dad outright that I didn't want to marry a Korean boy (esp since there's no need to right now), I started complaining about how Korean boys (or at least the ones I knew) were so limited to such typical, generic interests (let's see: they either a)love the lakers, fast cars, smoking/drinking, spending money on ugly shit they think is fashionable, hanging out with mobs of like-minded Korean people, and Mexican food even though they hate Mexicans or b)love the lakers, playing the guitar, going to church, preaching the gospel on facebook, hanging out with mobs of like minded people, and Mexican food even though they hate Mexicans -Haha okay I'm overgeneralizing! but I bet you I just covered 3/4 of the Korean guys you know) and how I didn't find them mentally stimulating. and he totally agreed with me, saying that nowadays Korean kids only know how to talk about shallow things like their electronics, latest popular movies, and sports... and then he went into this whole schpiel about how when he was young, girls loved going on dates with him because he could talk so well about so many different subjects. HAhaahhAAHAAAaaaa!!!! first time I ever heard my dad talk about his personal dating experiences. but yeah I'm not surprised, because he still has a lot of close female friends. and I like talking to him, too, because he IS well versed in a lot of topics!
And he placed the blame on the fact that Korean guys these days don't read enough! LOL. he said they're too focused on materialistic things and making money and attaining status (which is gross to me. like... I'm so ashamed by these new money Koreans who are so fucking flashy).
and when I told him that most of the Korean guys I knew were either in business, engineering, poli-sci or pre-med, he replied that I should never marry a doctor. hahahhahaaaa~
he said men who go into med school just because they want to be rich are his least favorite types. and that he finds doctors boring. :D
Oh, and then of course, he HAD to add that PROFESSORS are awesome because they pursue their deepest interests and are not only doing something they're passionate about, but are always learning and researching more.
LIKE I NEED HIM TO TELL ME THAT!!! HAH. I just told him that yes, I find my teachers infinitely more interesting than my fellow classmates.
-____-;;
But his bigger thing is he wants MEEEE to be a professor. He's been pushing this on me forEVERRRRR. and I'm just like... dad, I don't LIKE STUDENTS. I DON'T LIKE YOUNG PEOPLE. I DON'T HAVE THE PATIENCE TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE I DON'T LIKE. and he's all... "you don't have to be friendly to be a good professor! sometimes those are the most challenging and best classes!"
ohmygoodness. anyway, my whole direction into (international) law is okay with him, too, because he thinks politics and foreign relations are pretty interesting (but he was a history major at Seoul-dae -WHICH btw I never knew about until I told him I was going to do history, too!!- so he has a soft spot for the subject). but the lawyer thing is mostly for my dear mother. jesus christ. her family was so goddamn ecstatic when I finally agreed to go into law. but I had to really convince them there was no fucking way I'd go into corporate (hoping i won't have to take those words back).
Anyway, it's hilarious because we were talking about how reading is so fun and people who don't like to read are missing out.. and then my little brother texts me and tells me he's done with his basketball game and that we have to go pick him up. So we detour to Fairfax High and pick up him and his friend (nickname= "ketchup"??), who is just so cute! LOL. he's soo awkward but tries to be cool but really isn't and actually knows it but still tries? hahahaaa. it's okay, kid... your time will come... (it's only ok because he seems nice & sweet- he's just really unsure of himself. and especially so next to my cocky ass little brother)
HAHH anyway, so my extremely lovable brother is one of those typical Korean boys obsessed with basketball and KOBE and rap and black urban culture but is actually a good little mama's boy who gets straight A's and listens to K-pop and used to be obsessed with manga...
and he's always trying to prove he's better than me (but really, he wants to be like me HAHAHAA and actually he pretty much does beat me at everything on a technical level) and so starts showing off about all the literature he'd been reading in school... brought up The Great Gatsby, but er... went downhill once he started talking about what a "pimp" Jay Gatsby was and how Daisy was a brat for rejecting him? Hahahahhahaa oh my fucking god... and he got really into the MOVIE version, saying how gatsby was so good looking... blah blah blah... so then I asked him if he remembered the guy who wrote the book, and he responded, "uhhhhhh.... something complicated... like... something-beck..." HA HA HA... I was like... FOOL that's John Steinbeck!! so sad. so sad.
He's so much like me yet sooooooooo different. We're both arrogant and prideful (but thankfully can recognize and admit to our faults pretty quickly) but in different ways. He's much more loud and "macho" about it. and I'm more.. coldly disdainful. but we can talk for hours about whatever topic and he knows me better than any other guy, but... he doesn't fully get me.
He just accepts me for who I am. even though he thinks my opinions are valid, he sees them as representing a tiny percentage of the population, whereas he sees his views as representing the majority's. He's really into group stability and fun, rather than deeper emotional connections. (I'd like to say this is because he is like the guy version, but... sexism much? heh)
He's just a simpler person with simpler desires. I don't mean that like he's stupid. he just has a more one-track mind and sees deeper analysis of things as unnecessary and indulgent.
but he is much more personally ambitious and competitive than I am. He does well in school because he wants to be the best, not because he likes learning. Hahahaa. And he wants to get a good job that pays well so he can live well and be respected.
I am more like that now I'm in college (hmm in high school I veered from wanting to be a missionary to a fashion designer to a housewife to an entertainment news reporter to a dead person to a solitary world traveler. nice.) but I'm still driven to do things that interest me, you know? To me, motivation needs to come from somewhere between the subject and myself. To him, motivation comes from somewhere between him and the masses. This is probably because he's more of an extrovert. which is because he's the baby of the family who got the most attention and also the least responsibilities. He's the most emotionally stable one in my family, and the easiest to get along with.
Anyway, it's really weird because people say I'm so like my dad, and people say I'm so like my brother, but my dad and my brother are soooo different.
and I received my womanly attributes came from my mother, who is super feminine and proper. (I fought against her influences so much in my early teenage years until I finally realized she had embedded her characteristics so deeply within me that I couldn't even notice at first.)
I feel like my mom would be okay with me marrying a non-Korean.
as long as he was successful. -___-.
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